Sara is my uncle Arthur’s wife. At first, when she just appeared in our family, I thought she was an ordinary woman. But over time, I realized that she was not what I had imagined. She always had this strange feeling that everyone around her should understand and pity her. She often complained about her life, constantly blaming others for not living the life she wanted.
When she turned 50, Sara became completely different. If before she tried to fit in and adapt to people, now she no longer hid her feelings. She began to avoid communication with relatives, and when she did have to talk to them, it always ended in something unpleasant. In her words, there was always bitterness, and her actions seemed aimed at creating conflict.
The most terrible thing was her behavior toward children. She could not live in peace with relatives. Every time she talked to the children, she tried to convince them that everyone around her was bad, that no one believed them, and that they should stay away from everyone who might help them. And what was the most frightening was how skillfully she did this, so that the children, even without understanding, began to distance themselves from us, the adults.
I became very sad watching this. I didn’t know how to help. Children are the most precious thing a person has, but she couldn’t love even them genuinely. I didn’t understand why she was behaving this way. Even when I had my first child, Sara showed no joy. Instead of being a happy grandmother, she saw my child as just another reason for her bitterness. She didn’t even like my one-year-old baby. I couldn’t understand why. Why did she feel compelled to ruin everything around her?
All my attempts to talk to her led nowhere. When I tried to explain to her that her behavior was ruining relationships with the family, she always said the same thing: «It’s all your fault!» It was impossible to influence her. There was always this closed-off bitterness in her eyes, as if she felt like a victim who everyone owed help. But instead of looking for solutions, she just continued to sink deeper into her pain.
I felt very sorry for her. Perhaps she really felt hurt, perhaps some traumatic events from her childhood had left deep scars. But none of that justified her behavior. And as I looked at her life, I realized that she was building a trap for herself that she couldn’t escape from. The scariest part was that she didn’t want to change, she didn’t want to work on herself. She continued to destroy her relationships with relatives and children, and it seemed like she didn’t even realize she was doing it.
I tried to be patient, I tried to be there for her, but at some point, it became too hard. She didn’t love me, she didn’t love my family, and I could feel how her negativity was seeping into our environment. She tried to make us feel guilty, but eventually, I realized I couldn’t be part of this cycle anymore. It’s sad that her life became a constant battle, an endless conflict with herself and those around her.
Every time I tried to talk to her heart-to-heart, she turned me away. Sometimes I felt like she really believed that everyone around her was bad, that the world should revolve around her and her pain. But I understood that I couldn’t help her until she herself wanted to change. Life is too short to waste on bitterness and conflict. But what can you do when a person doesn’t see that they are destroying their own life and the lives of those close to them?
I didn’t know how to help. And maybe I never will. But I still hope that someday she will understand that love and peace are more important than bitterness and anger.